if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize