i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
