how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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