It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
