I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
