I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
