Whod you bang
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
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I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize