Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
