I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
