Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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