have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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