If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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