How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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