Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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