opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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