Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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