I'm laying in your front yard are you home
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
