I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
