WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
