its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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