I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
