sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize