Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
