so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
