just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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