Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
