these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
