did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
