I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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