I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
