I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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