Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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