We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
