just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Too much gin, very little bucket
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
