Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
