she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Quick, to the slutcave!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
