But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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