Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
