My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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