the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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