if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
