Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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