if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
