i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
