Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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