I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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