I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize