it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
