I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
