Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
this is an emotional support booty call
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
