I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
