My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
