If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
