There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
