he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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