And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
