Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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