apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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