how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize