that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
