im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I think I died a long time ago.
wanna go halves on a baby?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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